Colorado Representative and self-professed devout Christian Lauren Boebert apologized Friday after initially denying reports about her vaping and disruptive behavior during a family-friendly showing of the Beetlejuice musical in Denver this past Sunday. The 36-year-old separated grandmother and her date were kicked out by security after multiple complaints about their behavior. Boebert argued with theater security for an extended period before stomping out with a patented “Do you know who I am?” to theater staff. After, Boebert confirmed on Twitter that she was kicked out, without addressing patron accusations about vaping in the crowded theater or other inappropriate actions. …

In a Friday news dump, Boebert retracted her denial in an official statement after further video evidence showed that not only did Boebert repeatedly vape in the packed house, but that she and her date took the “lusty riot” description further than the venue intended.

Boebert, who often speaks for the Party of Family Values™ on the imaginary dangers of drag queens reading age-appropriate books to school children, first allows her date to grope her breasts with the clumsy intensity of a high schooler’s first time on second base. Ignoring the crowd around her she responds with an over-the-pants handjob….